Episode 43: Hedges, Part 2

You are sitting on your front porch as you wait for Grace to come around and meet you for a visit to Edwin’s house, along with Fatima. The weather on the equinox is cool and rainy, with a breeze coming over the ridge from the east. From your couch, you see squirrels running across your neighbor’s porch roof, chattering and chasing each other. You finish the last bite of your bowl of leftover chana masala from last night’s dinner with friends at Bollywood Hills, delighting in the complex spices and the acidity of the tomatoes in the sauce. You hear sparrows gathering for a conference in the maple tree next to the porch, and you close your eyes as you set down your bowl and take a savoring breath.

Grace appears at the bottom of your porch stairs, and calls out, “Good morning, You! Are you ready to do a little visiting?”

You say, “Yes, I’m ready. How is he doing?”

Grace shrugs and tells you, “Hard to say. This sort of thing takes time.”

You say, “Of course,” and you step back inside for a moment to put away your dishes, before you join Grace for the short walk down to Edwin’s house, picking up Fatima along the way. The three of you step up to his front door, and Grace knocks gently with her free hand. In her other hand, she is holding a bouquet of daffodils.

Edwin opens the door, stooped over his cane, and studies the three of you for a moment before he says, “Please, come in.” You follow him into the dark house, noticing a musty smell. There is a gallery of framed photographs along the stairway in the foyer. The furnishings are plain and dated, and you notice that the hardwood floors have probably not been cleaned or polished in quite some time.

Edwin leads you into the living room, where he has set out a small plate of cookies, and a pot of coffee along with cream, sugar, and some porcelain cups on saucers. He gestures toward the floral couch and love seat and says, “Sit down, sit down.” Grace disappears for a moment and comes back with the flowers in a cut crystal vase with water, which she sets on a side table next to the couch. While she does this, Edwin looks over at you, and he asks, “Would you like some coffee?”

You say, “Yes, I’d love some. Thank you.” He pours a cup, gives it a dash of both sugar and cream, and hands it over to you with a spoon balanced on the saucer. You stir the coffee and take a sip, realizing that it is both watery and lukewarm, as Edwin announces, “I’m not very good at hospitality. Carolyn always looked after that.”

Grace takes a sip of her own coffee, clears her throat, and says, “It’s lovely, Edwin. Thank you so much for taking care of us.”

Having served coffee and nudged the plate of cookies toward the three of you, Edwin settles heavily into a wingback chair opposite the couch. Grace sits in the chair next to him. The group settles into silence as everyone munches on stale shortbread cookies, and as you rest your hands on the smooth and careworn upholstery of the couch, you take a centering breath.

Edwin breaks the silence, declaring, “I miss her so much.”

Grace says quietly, “I can only imagine.”

He continues, “This week was the anniversary of -” Edwin pauses and takes a shaky breath. “I just miss having her here. I feel her presence, but I miss her.”

Grace says, “Of course.”

Quiet drapes over the room once again, and Grace gently rests her hand on Edwin’s knee as he pulls out a cloth handkerchief and loudly blows his nose.

Fatima leans forward on the couch next to you and asks, “Edwin, have you given any more thought to what you and I talked about the other day? Have you thought about moving to the Care Center?”

Edwin blows his nose again, and then tucks the handkerchief back into his sport coat pocket. He shakes his head as he says, “I don’t even know where I would begin. We’ve lived in this house for more than 40 years.”

You say, “We could help you. We could also get a cleaning service. You don’t need to be sweeping the floors and vacuuming the rugs yourself. One less thing to worry about.”

Grace, with one hand still on Edwin’s knee, says in a clear voice, “Friends, sometimes the best thing we can offer is our presence. Edwin, how about if we just sit with you and enjoy your company for today?”

Edwin looks over at Grace with watery eyes and says, “That would be nice.” Grace pats his knee and tells him, “Good, then that’s what we’ll do.” As silence descends yet again over the living room, you breathe in the scent of the daffodils in the vase next to you, as you take a contemplative breath.

After a few more minutes of lighter conversation, Edwin starts to doze off in his chair, and Grace reaches forward to stir her nearly empty coffee loud enough to wake him, as she announces, “We should probably get going. I’m looking after Claire this afternoon.” Edwin stands up with the help of his cane, walks the three of you to the front door, and accepts a kiss on his cheek from Grace as you make your exit together.

Standing on the sidewalk in front of Edwin’s house, you say to Fatima, “Eid Mubarak, Fatima. May you be well with every passing year.”

Fatima smiles briefly and then shakes her head as she mutters, “I pushed him too hard.”

Grace sighs and says, “He’s not ready yet. But he will be. We just need to keep showing up.” She claps her hands together and says, “In the meantime, let’s be sure to take care of ourselves as well. I’m going to learn how to make proper croissants at the French bakery next weekend. Would you two want to come with me?”

You say, “Yes, that sounds delightful. I’m there.”

Fatima says, “I will join you also. Moose is eating so much right now that he’s really living up to his nickname. I am sure he is about to grow. He will be happy to eat all of my work.”

The three of you start down the block together, Grace putting an arm around each of you, as you look back at Edwin’s house and resolve to come back again soon.